God
by Solita
Summary: God, sometimes, just don't pull through... and that's why I hate you. (Inu/Kag)


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Why?  
  
Why are you taking him away?  
  
Why God? Please...  
  
Answer me.  
  
Give me the answer I want.  
  
I need.  
  
I deserve.  
  
Why... God, why?  
  
It's just a simple question with a simple answer.  
  
So give me the answer.  
  
Give it. Hand it. Send it.  
  
Why, God, are you taking my soulmate away?  
  
Answer me.  
  
He's suffering.  
  
My soulmate is in agony. The only man I will ever love is dying. He's leaving to enter your Heaven.  
  
What a way to make him suffer in order to make him enter paradise.  
  
How screwed up can you get?!  
  
And he's dying. He's looking over at him and he's smiling a content, peaceful smile.  
  
It's all fake though. He's dying and he's in agony. The others are around me. Shippo. Miroku. Sango. Kaede. Even Sesshoumaru, Jakken and Rin.   
  
He's going to leave this living world for another.  
  
And it's all because he had to save me.  
  
Save my soul over his own.  
  
Why?  
  
Give me the damn answer, God.  
  
They're all consoling me. They're all wishing me well. They're all saying that I have to be strong.  
  
They'll never know what it is to have half a soul.  
  
Kikyo is gone. She died with Naraku.   
  
She's still going to get Inuyasha in the end.  
  
Even though I have my soul all together, my soulmate is leaving me now.  
  
I'm going back to square one.  
  
He's whispering for me not to cry. He wants me to be happy. He wants me to live on and to die peacefully. He says there's nothing to fight for anymore. He says there's only peace now. He wants me to go home. He wants me to live.  
  
I smile.  
  
How innocent he is when he's dying. Only wants the best for me while he's dying.  
  
Dying. Dying. Dying.  
  
I hate that word, God.  
  
And I'm starting to hate you, too.  
  
I can feel him leaving. His soul is rising into your paradise, God. Be proud, for you have taken away from the world the most righteous thing you ever created.  
  
That's the thing about you, God. You create, and you destroy. You give, and you take. You praise, and you shun.  
  
You're such an indian giver.  
  
A certain bitter taste entered my mouth right now. It's like metal, sour and cold.  
  
It's the taste of animosity.  
  
I think hatred will become a new thing for me, God.  
  
He's breathing is becoming slower now. He's clenching to my hand tighter. I embraced him closer and I whisper to him the one word I thought I would never say.  
  
"Aishiteru."  
  
And he too whispered the same.  
  
"Aishiteru."  
  
One. Two. Three.  
  
Silence.  
  
Then he was gone.  
  
And so was I.  
  
I hate you God.  
  
I really, really hate you.  
  
The Shikkon no Tama is glowing an eerie red. And I don't care.  
  
If that's my hatred for you, so be it.  
  
I don't care.  
  
I really don't anymore.  
  
You took him away from me, and now I don't care.  
  
If Japan has to be destroyed and begin again the conflict between Inuyasha and Naraku, so be it!  
  
Let history repeat itself! Let another Kikyo come again! Let another Kagome come again!  
  
Let the torment, the agony, and the hatred come again!  
  
You took away the happily-ever-after, God.  
  
You took away everyone's happily-ever-after.  
  
I hate you for it.  
  
Why God?!  
  
Why?!  
  
Answer me dammit!  
  
He's left me, God, he actually left me behind!  
  
And it's all because of **_YOU!_**  
  
I'll never be able to tell him how much he means to me. How much he is cherished in my heart. How much I wanted to hold him, love him, whisper to him softly that I will never leave his side. How much I... I love him. How much I loved him. I'll never be able to tell him, won't I?  
  
Won't I God?  
  
You just had to pull that stunt on me, didn't you? Had to shove Destiny, Fate, and Love in my way, didn't you? Irony had to be the bitch that she is and the same with Inevitability. You just had to do that, didn't you? Had to screw up everything?  
  
You just had to take Inuyasha away from me!  
  
You just had to make me miserable!  
  
You just had to!  
  
I'm at the tree where Inuyasha, my lovable soulmate, was imprisoned for fifty years.  
  
Until I came and took him away from Kikyo's spell.  
  
But now... now it is my resting place.  
  
I will be buried here, and so will Inuyasha.  
  
We will be together. Forever.  
  
And we will leave our mark behind.  
  
Our mark...  
  
... as the ones who brought and kept misery in this world forever.  
  
And there isn't a damn think your going to do, God.  
  
Not a damn thing.  
  
You really didn't want us to have a happily-ever-after anyways.  
  
A gust of wind blows all around me. Where is it coming from?  
  
"Kagome..."  
  
What? Who is saying my name? It sounds so familar...  
  
No.   
  
You wouldn't pull this on me, God.  
  
You hate me, remember? You hate me! And I hate you!  
  
I hate you so much I want to go through with this!  
  
I want to wish misery on everyone the world and for generations to come forever!  
  
But do you hate me... do you hate me God?  
  
... oh my... Inuyasha? No, it can't be. He's... standing right in front of me. It just can't be.  
  
I'm... at a loss for words. He's smiling. He's in his hanyou form. He has a halo over his head with the most gorgeous wings behind his back. He's walking in front of me, and I can't do anything in order to move. He's... so... beautiful.  
  
Hee. His little ears. How cute they are still. I smile and tug on one of them. He chuckles and brushes my hands away. His voice... so heavenly.  
  
"Jeeze Kagome, I thought you would stop that habit now."  
  
I chuckle a bit too. God... goddamit.  
  
"Habits die hard," is all I respond with.  
  
His face becomes grim. He looks at my cupped hands, narrowing his eyes at the glowing red Shikkon no Tama. He looks at me again, his eyes filled with sorrow and a frown of disappointment. I hate it when he looks like that. He looks so depressed. And yet, hopeful.  
  
"Do you really want to wish that on the world?"  
  
I go wide-eyed. He... knew?  
  
He smiled. I love his lips. I love his eyes. I love him. "You don't want to."  
  
My eyebrows rose up and my eyes narrowed. What did he mean by that? I certainly wanted to!  
  
He shook his head. Is he reading my mind? "All that we went through, Kagome. Everything. Our mishaps, our adventures... our love. Do you wish to end this peace we created and make everyone miserable?"  
  
"Yes, I do." I snapped it at him. His eyes widen. He takes his clawed hand and cups my right cheek in it. So warm and soft... he has to be alive. He just has to be.  
  
"Time heals things, Kagome. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to. But I had to."  
  
"Because of God?" I sneered it at him. I hate God. The jewel glowed because of it.  
  
He shook his head and looked at me again. We're nose to nose now. I can feel his breath. I want to kiss him, taste his devouring lips. If I couldn't before he died, this is my only chance now.   
  
He must have heard my thoughts. There's no doubt now. He kissed me right there and then. He tastes like strawberries, winter, and ramen noddles. We pulled apart and looked into each others eyes. Maybe God liked me after all.  
  
"Why are you here?" I asked him. Tears are threatening to come down my eyes. I don't want him to see me cry. I don't want him to.  
  
He pulled me into a hug. "I had a regret."  
  
I gasped and looked at him. "A regret?"  
  
He chuckled slightly. "About you, Kagome."  
  
"Me?" I ask.  
  
He became serious now. "You were filled with despair, and you wanted to give it to the world. I just didn't want you to do that." He smiled. I love it when he does that. "You would have made a mistake that you would have regretted, and I love you too much in order for you to go through it."  
  
I wonder still. "What would have happened if I made that wish?"  
  
"You would have never had happiness again ever, even in death." I gasped. That's right. I was going to wish for everyone in the world to be in misery forever... and that even ment me. I looked up at him. I couldn't think of anything. I wanted to say thank you, I love you, and I don't want you to go.  
  
I think he knew that already.  
  
He kissed my forehead and whispered softly, "Aishiteru, Kagome."  
  
I whispered as well. "Aishiteru, Inuyasha."  
  
I closed my eyes and felt the warmth rush away from me. Before I knew it, he was gone. I sighed in peace. We would meet again, someday. Somewhere. But we don't know when. Who cares. I can wait. It'll be hell, but I can wait.  
  
And in my hands I felt two things.  
  
A blue forget-me-not in the right one, and the Shikkon no Tama in the other.  
  
I smiled. It felt better than growling and frowning.  
  
I looked at the Shikkon no Tama. I knew what to wish now.  
  
Silently I made that wish and in a flash, the jewel disappeared. Everything was right in the world now.  
  
Even with me.  
  
I wished that the I and ones closests to me would never have to know the meaning of sadness ever again.  
  
It was much more better than the wish I had beforehand.  
  
I can go back now. I can start again. I can finally be happy.  
  
God, sometimes you don't pull through. And sometimes you actually do.  
  
I guess you were in a good mood today, weren't you?  
  
I'm sorry, God. Forget what I said before.  
  
I better go home now. There's nothing more I can do here.  
  
Thank you Inuyasha, and aishiteru.  
  
And thank you, God. Thank you for giving me a second chance.  
  
For that second chance... and letting me see him again.  
  
I guess you're not that bad after all.  
  
One last thing.   
  
Remember that question I had?  
  
Forget that too.  
  
Its already been answered.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
